Whitlow Enterprises EPA Smoke School Visible Emissions Evaluation and Certification Where the Stars and Stripes and the Eagles Fly. Honesty Integrity Accountability

Our goal is for you to attend a stress free fun 1/2 day EPA Method 9 Certification testing absolutely free for you and your company with 2 year EPA Method 9 visible emissions evaluation certificates. Who's on your side now? My momma always used to say, "If you can't beat em, Join them."  Sign up for Whitlow today. We will win this battle together. Call Ashley and Mandy 318-361-2355 right now. If you can't find our smoke school close to you, we will create one for your company. George A. Whitlow, your Smoke Commander is actively and aggressively seeking your support for Whitlow Enterprises EPA Smoke School to create a sole source legal binding contract with EPA to conduct your smoke school free of charge to you with an EPA Method 9 Visible Emissions Certificate valid for 2 years. Our intentions are for smoke school to go back exactly the way it was in the beginning. Your smoke school fees were intended to be covered by your federal and state permit fees. In my personal professional opinion only one single company ETA out of Raleigh North Carolina is exactly beyond the shadow of a doubt the absolutely only thing standing in the way between your stress free 1/2 day EPA Method 9 Certification testing, your free smoke school, and 2 year certificates valid for EPA Visible Emissions Evaluation . Don't worry. I can prove this in court. I have been collecting emails and other evidence since 2001. We intend to manufacture and sell smoke making machines back to each state before ETA ended the policy way back yonder when Jesus was a corporal. That was way back in BC Before Computers. Hey Jack. Do you feel lucky? I love the courtroom. The judges and the lawers put their pants on just like me and my daddy did- One leg at a time. My daddy always taught me to treat everyone just exactly like I wished them to treat me. That is why I am who I am and I know exacty who I am. What you see is what you get. Amen.

To: Plant Managers and EHS Personnel from the EPA, state environmental departments, and industry

Contact us    Schedule    Locations    Register    Fees    Request on-site smoke schools      Request New Locations    Frequently Asked Questions   

How to prepare for state and federal EPA inspections This could save you $90,000 Remember George Whitlow is the only smoke school provider who actually has regulatory inspector experience.

Download EPA Method 9 Form    Save to your computer, type in words that never change, save again, then make copies.     Method 9 Instructions This is your desk top classroom.

Basic Fundamentals of Reading Opacity  You should learn these basic fundamentals to learn how to do it right the first time. You should always observe your opacity sources along side of state and federal environmental inspectors, because it is possible to pass the test, earn the certificate, without having a clue how to read opacity. Contact Whitlow immediately if you get a notice of violation or compliance order. Then call your lawyer. I know this for a fact Jack, because for the past 30 years industry officials have been calling me to investigate federal and state mistakes, that should have been caught and stopped by the inspector's supervisor. These government agencies are depending on you just to pay the fine to avoid court and embarrassment to your company that will affect your stock market value. Trust me, a lot of  these commercials you see about how a company protects the environment are a result of a bad inspection.

Smoke Commander Story Time    First Time Customer Discounts    Refer a Friend and earn $50 cash    Purchase a Pocket Ringlemann Smoke Chart for Black Smoke Opacity

Site map    Includes all the information you ever wanted to know about visible emissions, opacity, or Whitlow Enterprises.     What to do if the EPA shows up at your plant.     Disclaimer   

Purchase a classroom video to avoid attending an actual classroom. EPA only recommends the classroom. This is classroom at your desktop.

Purchase a smoke school practice video    Purchase Whitlow Tee shirts and other stuff    Purchase Uncle George Whitlow's only novel Blue Bayou Days about growing up fishing and hunting

Employment opportunities to work for Whitlow Smoke School.

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The Gospel truth about Opacitair Smoke School and ECS Smoke School (All smoke schools except for Whitlow Smoke School started business in a similar manner. They did not pay their dues like Whitlow Did.) They are not qualified to train you on opacity nor tying your shoe laces.  

Hello there my friends, Romans, and countrymen- my fellow Americans.  Greetings and salutations from West Monroe, Louisiana, the home of the Duck Commander and Duck Dynasty. My name isGeorge Artie Whitlow and I am Uncle George. We are family owned and operated. My bride Pamela, our daughters Ashley and Mandy, adopted sons Kodi and John, and brothers Paul, John, and David would like you to experience the very best in Southern hospitality here at Whitlow Enterprises fun and stress free smoke school.  I am the Smoke Master General and the Smoke Commander. Unlike our competitors, I paid my dues to earn these titles. Whitlow Enterprises is the only smoke school provider who qualifies under Executive Order 13360 SBA Service Connected Disabled Veteran Small Business. I am a Vietnam War Veteran and I started performing EPA and OSHA inspections in the United States Air Force as a Bioenvironmental Engineer in 1976. I am a retired Louisiana Department of Environmental Quality  (LDEQ) inspector and so is my brother and business associate, Paul Liard. Other team members brothers John David Wallace and David Standard are retired fireman.  Together we have over 100 years’ experience in EPA, EHS, and OSHA compliance. I started conducting smoke school for LDEQ in 1984 for 500 attendees who relied on me for compliance. Today Whitlow Enterprises is insuring compliance at over 100 smoke school locations in 21 states. Whitlow Enterprises has trained and EPA Method 9 certified over 100,000 EHS personnel from industry, state environmental agencies, and EPA since 1984. We are here to meet your compliance needs and you will be in great hands. We have forgotten how many times we appeared on the witness stand. We have forgotten more than they will ever know. Call upon us at 318-361-2355 or email us at smokeschool@yahoo.com at any time. We are here to serve. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Do not make the $92,000 mistake that will damage your company stock market value with all the negative publicity of Notices of Violation and Compliance Orders. We also preform EHS audits, labeling, and sign etching services.

Whitlow smoke schools are fun and informative. Once upon a time in 1836, there was a lone sailing ship out in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. The captain was in his quarters taking a nap. The ship mate came in and woke him up with, "Captain, an enemy ship is on the horizon."  "Get me my red shirt."     "Why sir?"     "If I get shot, I don't want my men to see my blood. They will fight to the finish."    The next morning the ship mate come in the captain's quarters again and again wakes him up with, "Sir 20 enemy ships on the horizon."     "Get me my brown pants."

My daddy George Wesley Whitlow and Bill Clinton came from a little place called Hope Hope is a small town and they were fiends. They both started out riding bicycles to deliver groceries for their family owned small general store. They both used ice toms to deliver blocks of ice to place in front of large fans for social events. They never heard of air conditioners back in those dog days of summer. They both were people people and they both made a difference. There were a thousand people at daddy's funeral. Daddy was a cop and Bill was president. They made a difference. When I was born the doctor looked down and said oh my. I don't know whether he is gonnna walk or fly. Momma Johnny Claire said that I was special. Like Forest Gump Little George has a destiny. He will make a difference. Whitlow and smoke school are peas and carrots. As I sit here at this very moment in time I am sitting at my computer in a hotel in Ripley Tennessee on the way back home to West Monroe to see my darling Pamela. It has been a long road trip that ended up in Toledo Ohio. As I sit here typing this added paragraph that you are reading, I decided to really make a difference. Smoke school is only the beginning. I am going to talk to my congressman about running for political office. I am a Choctaw Indian native American. I have always dedicated myself to preserving the environment and helping industry to be in compliance. At this moment I am concerned about the inconsistency of EPA enforcement and the effects on the grain and oil business. I will find a solution and put it into law. Who knows. I may grow up to be President after all.

Let me set the record straight. The information that I am about to give you began 20 years ago and is public record. You can search and find it all over the internet. I lived it. I am an antique. Sorry but I am a suspicious person. I belong to a cop family. Both my daddy and my brother are retired cops. I wish that I had chosen that line of work myself. I love the ideal of protect and serve. I came here on this earth to make a difference. I should have been a politician like the great Congressman Ralf Abraham, whom left his physicians office to make a difference. The instigators if there were any, are all dead or retired. The present day public servants need to clean this up. They are the victims because they are an embarrassment to their departments because they are not being adequately trained in EPA Method 9 or visible emissions. If you are employed by industry, then you are the victims. The fines and penalties due to inadequate training can put your company out of business from all the negative media attention. I know this for a fact Jack, because my very last environmental inspection in 1984 cost 300 people their job and the company closed their doors forever after the 4 million dollars in fines, the 9 million dollar class action lawsuit, and Operah Winfrey and Anderson Cooper got finished. That's right, there were 30 news vans at the court house. The 100% opacity violation that I observed and correctly documented according to EPA Method 9 about their hazardous waste incinerator was the very last straw that tipped the cart over. Penalties and fines accumulate with each Notice of Violation for each single plant or company. You first violation may cost you $30,000 and your third violation for any plant in your company can cost you $92,000 or more. I felt guilty for costing the 20 year plant operator, 6 EHS personnel, and the remaining 300 employees their livelihood. Unfortunately ignorance is not an excuse in environmental compliance. It is your duty to seek and find the best training available. We are Whitlow. We are the best. Therefore I started conducting smoke school so I could make a difference and insure that you are all trained adequately. That is our most important obligation to you for choosing Whitlow. We train based on our century of experience on both sides of environmental compliance. Just the facts Jack.

Smoke School is a required by the United States EPA, which is a government agency subject to the Code of Ethics from the United States Office of Government Ethics. Your Uncle George is not a lawyer, but I have trained many lawyers and a few judges in EPA Method 9. I have worn my Salvation Army suit in the courtroom many times. According to the Code of Ethics, government employees shall not engage in financial transactions sung nonpublic Government information or allow the improper use of such information to further any private interest. As a LDEQ inspector I was not allowed to recommend any particular environmental consultant to fix your Notice of Violation. Furthermore the code states that a government employee shall not, except pursuant to such reasonable exceptions as are provided by regulation, solicit or accept any gift or other item for monetary value (such as free smoke school for government employees) from any person or entity seeking action from, doing business with, or conducting, activities regulated by the employee's agency, or whose interests may be substantially affected by the performance of the employee's duties.  Government employees shall endeavor to avoid any actions creating the appearance that they are violating the law of the ethical standards propagated pursuant to this order.

I hired on with LDEQ in 1983. The very first week that I walked into my office, I attended a day long briefing about the Code of Ethics and had to sign a statement that I understood the law. The very next week I attended my first smoke school as a LDEQ air quality inspector. I attended an 8 hour smoke school EPA Visible Emissions classroom lecture conducted by Tom Rose of ETA out of Raleigh, North Carolina. From the very get go, I suspected an apparent conflict of interest with potential to be in violation of the Code of Ethics. As the years and smoke schools flowed by I learned that these apparent conflicts of interests were rampant. You be the judge and click and see for yourself many times ETA and Tom Rose appears on. EPA manuals, regulations, and other documents:  EPA Method 9,     EPA Method 22,     EPA Visible Emissions

I started Whitlow Smoke School in 2001. From day one, I learned that is easier for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle, than it is to compete with a business that receives special favors from the United States Government. Apparently most state and federal environmental inspectors are receiving free smoke school from ETA, In fact I have seen several government contracts under the Freedom of Information Act that stated that ETA would train government employees free. I assume that during inspections government employees are directing their regulated industries to attend ETA smoke school. In fact many EPA and state environmental agents whom changed to Whitlow Smoke School have told me that they prefer our training because they can pass the test in 1/2 day rather than the 2 or 3 day required by other smoke schools. They don't teach you how to pass the test. Thy are in too big of a hurry blasting you with 4 test runs a day. They don't give you a good look at the standards of 25%, 50%, and 75%.  They don't give you enough practice. They jump all over the scale from 10% to 90% to 15% to 80%.

What happened to freedom of choice and government for the people, by the people. Once ETA establishes a state monopoly on smoke school, ETA can charge you all they desire. At $200 or $300 a head, that is a pile of money considering ETA averages 100 people per smoke school and Whitlow Enterprises averages 30 attendees. Many government inspectors are making big obvious mistakes in reading opacity, because they are being certified in EPA Method 9 without ever receiving adequate training. I am not accusing any present day government employees of doing any wrong doing. Tom Rose was one of my best friends for 20 years. Tom took me out to supper after every smoke school for 20 years. I attended all of his LDEQ classrooms for 20 years. He told a lot of jokes and did a lot of advertising for his company. The 8 our lecture was boring and I often fell asleep. My snoring woke up the other attendees. He even bragged that he was the only smoke school recognized by EPA. Tom told me the first time we sat at the supper table that he had congestive heart failure and had to watch his diet. Mister Rose died several years ago. The government employees who started rolling this ball of wax are all dead or retired. The present government employees aware of the problem are trying to find a way to clean things up.  Executive Order 13360 will give them that opportunity.

EPA virtually ignores all smoke school providers other than ETA. There is no consistency, standardization, quality control, or quality assurance. The bare facts are that any Tom, Dick, or Harry can clone a smoke making generator, issue you an EPA Method 9 certificate, without ever setting foot onto a plant to perform an inspection. How do you expect them to train you and keep you in compliance? Paul and I are the only smoke school people who have ever preformed an inspection. Paul, David, and I have met with Congress to execute Executive Order 13360 to become the only smoke school recognized by the EPA for this reason. Paul, David, and I sat in Congressman Ralf Abraham's office last week to began to make this dream a reality. This endeavor will be a joint effort using Congress, the Veteran Affairs Administration, the Small Business Administration, and the US EPA. This will be a sole source contract. We intend to return the function of training and issuing certificates back over to each state environmental department as it was in the beginning. Smoke school will be free again to your company and your certificates will be valid for 2 years instead of just 6 months. In my opinion ETA is the only reason we have a 6 month smoke school certification requirement. We want to insure that all federal and state inspectors, as well is industrial EHS staff are properly trained to avoid any undue compliance orders. We also intend to revise the current visible emissions manuals and regulations that are very outdated and obviously demonstrate unfair competition  to our main competitor smoke school. Your congressman refused a box of chocolates from me because of ethics. Something is wrong with EPA Smoke School. Whitlow is going to fix it for you. This is your smoke school. We intend to enforce consistency, quality control, and quality assurance of all state ran smoke schools using the smoke generator machines we will manufacture for each state smoke school. We shall demand standardization of training for accuracy and stabilization. We will rid you of all the inconsistencies in EPA Visible Emissions enforcement. Whitlow will continue to be available for onsite smoke schools.

We intend for all future smoke schools to look and feel very much like Whitlow schools are today. We provide the best available customer service. We train at each location. We keep the certification test simple to pass in ½ day. We focus on low level opacities required by your permit. An average opacity of 20% over a 6 minute period is a violation after all. We bring donuts, coffee, soft drinks and we cook Louisiana Cajun food for your enjoyment. Whitlow smoke schools are informative and fun. Bring a guest. You may attend any open enrollment smoke school on our schedule or we can easily set up onsite smoke schools for your plant or your entire company. Why not give your employees a well-deserved break to let them have fun at smoke school. Enjoy our free lunch and win prizes. Pick up the phone and call Ashley or Mandy at 318-361-2355 today to get the ball rolling. We provide free estimates for onsite schools. Thank you very much. We are looking forward to serving you.

Like Phil Robertson, the Duck Commander I confess to be a born again Christian. I am not saying that I am better than you, nor do I have the right to judge any one of you. My momma always used to say, "Life is like a box of chocolates."  Momma said that if I pointed a finger at someone else, then 3 fingers were pointing back at me . Think about it. I am scared to think about a world without Jesus living in it. I am 66 years old and I have lost both of my parents and a lot of friends.  All I know for certain is that I try to have faith and trust in the Lord. I am by no means perfect and I have to ask for forgiveness 7 times 7 times a day. I do know that a few days before 9-1-1 September 1, 2001 that I woke up in my home on Linda Ave downtown Baton Rouge, Louisiana. For some reason I felt the presence of God in the dark bedroom at 4AM. I heard him say, "Build it and they will come." Earlier I had watched the movie Field of Dreams. I asked God, what would you like me to build? A cornfield or a baseball park. His answer was build smoke school. It is the only job that you ever did right in your entire life. Looking back I can see my entire life from day one on November 4, 1948. Flunking out of Northeast Louisiana State College and joining the US Air Force during the Vietnam War on May 8, 1969.

I am an official Vietnam Veteran because I was a member of 552 AEW&CON WG at McClellan AFB California. You ladies and gentleman actually in Vietnam are the heroes. The only danger that I faced was the low cloud visibility on the freeway while driving home from work. Many times I could not see my exit sign to West Sacramento and to me that was dangerous. I appreciate your bravery. Nevertheless, those of you who did survive owe your survival to my air planes and to the life support parachutes and other equipment that I issued my crewmembers and the survival skills that I trained them on how to stay alive if they were shot down behind enemy lines. My Lockheed EC-121 Constellation low attitude radar surveillance airplanes allowed our B-52 bombers and fighter planes to bring in the payload so you could come back home. I must have done something right, because not a single pilot or crewmember ever came back to me to say that their parachutes did not open. You were the real heroes. The scariest I ever was when the screech owl screamed like a panther while sliding down the tin roof at my granddaddy's deer camp on the Mississippi River at Ferriday, Louisiana. The scariest place I ever been was during the Vietnam War at Bodega Bay, California just after Alfred Hitchcock filmed the Movie Birds. I swear they were after my eyeballs. The second scariest place was Transylvanian Louisiana with Dracula on the water tower.

From April1972 until the war officially ended in April 1975 the USAF assigned me to the Military Airlift Command and Strategic Airlift Command at Altus AFB, Oklahoma.  Without a doubt the survival equipment and my training helped finally bring about the end of the war. My only fear was the tarantulas, rattlesnakes, and the spring tornadoes. You were the heroes.

Transferring into Bioenvironmental Engineering in September 1976 to learn the skill where I still work today in 2015. I joined LDEQ in 1983 and earned a BS Liberal Arts degree in Environmental and Sociology in 1988. I started conducting LDEQ smoke school in 1984. In 1998 I fell on a wooden foot bridge building a barbed wire fence to save some cows lives who were in danger of being electrocuted at my LDEQ hi-volume air sampler we used to monitor airborne smoke and dust particles from smoke and dust that are controlled by smoke school. I ruptured a disc in my low back and could not stand up or walk for 2 months. I crawled on the floor, turned on a computer for the first time. Then learned how to make webpages. The state of Louisiana tried to force me into disability. In September 2001 I retired from LDEQ and used my computer skills to form Whitlow Smoke School. I trained my brother Paul Liard many years every 6 months in smoke school because he was a LDEQ inspector. Paul started working for Whitlow Enterprises when he retired form LDEQ. A few years later, I wrote a letter of recommendation for Paul to become a Methodist preacher in 2 churches. The greatest miracle of all was when God introduced me to Pamela at my chiropractor's office where I received release from my every day chronic 10 level  pain from my LDEQ back injury from the fall in 1998. Now I have a new miracle family and know what it really feels like to be loved. The greatest gift of all is love.  Love makes the world go around and conquers all evil.  And now with the help of US Congress and the good Lord, Paul, David, and I are about to bring smoke school back to your state environmental department the way it was way back in 1998. You can feel free to call me at any time to discuss any of your fears or concerns. My cell phone number is 318-267-1453.

I would hate to think of a world without Jesus of Nacreous living in it.  Last Thursday May 14, 2015, I awoke in a panic. A few weeks back I had to conduct smoke schools in Cleveland and Toledo Ohio. I had become accustomed to the short and tee-shirt weather here in West Monroe. I was not ready for the lake affect snow. I did not even pack a coat. I developed pneumonia and ended up at Glenwood Regional Medical Center Emergency Care. While being triaged behind the curtain, I had an out of body experience. I looked down and saw myself struggling to breath for the last time. I saw the hopeless look on the nurses attendant face, her name was Wendy. I saw the horror on my fiancés Pamela’s face. Her shock at becoming a widow twice in 2 years. Don’t leave me, she yelled. This thought brings tears to my eyes now. I had time for one last prayer, “Forgive me father.”

As usual he was there to answer all my needs. Always just in the nick of time. Wendy, who reminded me of Reba McEntire, taught me how to breathe again and she saved my life from the code flat line. My experience at Glenwood was a very good one and I feel healthier than I have felt in many years. They sent me home alive yesterday afternoon. Their nurses, doctors, diagnostic respiratory, x-ray, house cleaning, and especially food service was very good. Their staff was very professional. Their pulmonary and cardio vascular units have me scheduled for more extensive testing including their sleep center scheduled for tonight at 8:30. I have a long history of Sleep Apnea. Glenwood will see that I have a CPAP machine to drastically improve my quality of life. Thank the Good Lord for that. AMEN.  

George A Whitlow

Uncle G Artie Whitlow

President and CEO

The Whitlow family and team at home for smoke school in our front yard for your convenience every single month. Whitlow Enterprises is located just 12 miles south of the Duck Commander off of Louisiana Hwy 34 Jonesboro Road. come to our home smoke school and it may be possible for you to meet the Duck Dynasty in person. We were here before they were and there is a resemblance. I think they copied me. We are located at 1305 Charles Griggs Road, West Monroe Louisiana. We are a friendly southern North Louisiana family. Stop by and see us almost any time. On Sunday or Wednesday night I can take you to Whites Ferry Road Church of Christ with the Duck Dynasty family. You can sit between your Uncle George and Uncle Si. I am a lot more better looking than Si is. The good Lord is using both families to spread holy smoke across the entire world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is your smoke school. We are Whitlow. We appreciate your suggestions. Do unto others like you would like them do to do unto you. Here are the normal things we do that make our competitors try to imitate us:

  1. We do our homework before each smoke school with maintenance and calibration before each test

  2. We set the stage for optimal conditions for reading opacity even on cloudy days- contrasting background and shelter from rain and sun. If we cant find a contrasting background, God helps us create one for you.  You can not even see white smoke with white clouds for a background, much less read the opacity. I have heard my competitor smoke school providers brag," Hell, if they can see the opacity, let them take a wild guess at it. " Now hear this. Whitlow is the only smoke school that creates contrasting backgrounds. WE WANT YOU TO PASS THE EPA METHOD 9  CERTIFICATION TEST.  You make us feel happy that we are doing our job correctly when you pass the test. We do not use the quota system the others brag about in private. They don't feel like the test is good unless half of you fail every time you take the test.

  3. We start your day off with precise instructions on how to read opacity, fill out the forms, and take the visible emissions certification test. Remember this- read the background not the smoke. 25% opacity means 25% of the background is obscured by the smoke. Always read the opacity at the densest part of the plume. In our case, choose an observation point that is 12 inches in diameter the same diameter as our smokestack.

  4. Whitlow gives you plenty practice test opacity plumes to evaluate and we watch you to make sure you are following the correct basic fundamentals of reading opacity.

  5. We present the smoke school visible emissions evaluator certification test following EPA requirements of random opacity plumes from zero to 100%

  6. We focus on low level opacity readings from zero to 50%, most permits call for an average of 20% opacity over a 6 minute period. Some permits limit opacity to zero or 5%. Ray Charles can see 20% opacity. The certification test should not be based on a quota system designed to 50% of you will fail each test. We refuse to jump around like King Kong from 5% to 90% like a datburn yoyo Absolutely no point in this at all.

  7. After the test we allow you to grade your own test papers. Our staff team grades the papers as well on site. You will know that you passed before you leave. We call out the answers nice and slow.

  8. Each smoke school consists of a morning and afternoon session to allow you to send plenty of employees. Please let us know when you resister if you prefer morning or afternoon.

 

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Lets go Pilgrim,

we are burning up daylight.                            

 

 

Uncle G Artie Whitlow
 

 

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