Whitlow Enterprises was created and is owned and operated by a carpenter, a Sheppard, a good fisherman, and our only savior Jesus, Prince of Peace. On the morning of September 1, 2001, he woke me up at 04:30 and said build it and they will come. If you recall that is 911 the day America was attacked. "Build what," I asked. "A field of dreams, a baseball park, or a cornfield." And his answer as clear as the nose on your face was Smoke School- that is the only thing you have ever done right in your entire life. I created you to be smoke school and I would love for you do do it the way that you know that I would do it. Do unto others like you would love them do unto you. Do it right the first time or get out of Dodge. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Years ago in 1983 back when I was a young buck inspector suffering through smoke school, I discovered it was broke. I took the EPA Method 9 certification test and failed it 96 times in 3 days. I got sun stroke, moon bite, poison ivy, and the 7 year itch. Smoke school was broker than a 2 dollar pistol. It want work and you can't fire it. So I fixed it. I could not pass the certification test, so I started giving the Louisiana DEQ smoke school EPA Method 9 Visible Emissions Evaluator training and certification test for DEQ in 1984. I cashed in my chips in 2001 and retired from DEQ to start Whitlow Enterprises Smoke School. Starting on day one in 1984 all attendees come to say they actually leaned something for the first time and had fun to boot. Imagine that Smoke School is fun. I just might have a college BS degree in Environmental Science and Social Studies, but that don't mean that I don't have common plain horse sense. AMEN end of Story. Click on the links then scroll down for the rest of the story.
Welcome to Whitlow.Contact us Smoke school schedule Locations by state Louisiana Smoke Schools Grain Elevator Smoke Schools
Employment Opportunities for Whitlow Enterprises
You can plan and request any location in any state.
Private onsite smoke schools are also available.
Refer a Friend from a new plant or new company and earn a cold $50 Dollar Bill.
Night time smoke school certification
Fees Registration Download EPA Method 9 form Instructions for Method 9 Form
Story Time with the Smoke Master General
Smoke School Products: Order Ringelmann Pocket Smoke Chart,
Classroom DVD, or Smoke School Practice Text
Whitlow Engraving- Labels,Tags,Boat Paddles,anything metal, wood or glass
Whitlow Enterprises LLC Smoke School Go Shopping On Us at Bass Pro or Walmart
Environmental Health and Safety Audits Frequently Asked Questions Sight Map
Uncle George Story Time Payment Center
Smoke School Products: Order Ringelmann Pocket Smoke Chart, Classroom DVD, or Smoke School Practice Text
Click here for the truth, at least according to Uncle George Whitlow's personal opinion, about Opacit Air, ESC and other smoke school competitor providers. Links included to all. This is like the original movie Miracle on 34st Street. This ain't Macy's and I ain't Santa Clause, but click, compare, shop, and choose the best smoke school provider for your special needs.
Jesus Prince of Peace
Always remember to put God First and all things work together for good for those who love the Lord. At this time we here at Whitlow Enterprises Smoke School would like for you to enter your comments about our web page, our Whitlow Smoke School Nation smoke schools, or even our excellent Cajun Cooking. You can post your favorite clean jokes. You can give us your personal testimony about your relationship with the The Prince of Peace. I am 66 years young and I am brand new at actually walking with the Lord on a daily basis, although he has kept me in his hands since day one back when I collected $200 for passing geaux. He has restored my soul, cured me of diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure- Hallelujah. Jesus has restored my soul and my health to a 30 year old man. If I'm lying I'm dying. It's right there in your Bible, red letters, first parenthesis.
The Whitlow family and team members of Whitlow Enterprises are not here just to take your hard eared money. Money is filthy lucre necessary to get by in this life. We love you and we need you. We believe in God and we believe God wants us to give you a helping hand, not just when things are going good, but when the chips are down. Our team is very qualified and experienced in EPA and OSHA and we can help you with compliance issues and take the lead out. We love you and we are also concerned about your personal life and spiritual well being. The song goes, nobody loves you when you are down and out. Whenever you need a friend with ears, we are here like a bridge over troubled waters. Feel free to call or contact us anytime.
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Click here to read others comments about us from our beginning in September 2001
And this small grain of mustard seed faith is exactly the reason why I, George Artie Whitlow, the Smoke Master General built it- built the Whitlow Smoke School Nation and you are reading this page, enjoying the music and my infinite wisdom teeth. We built it and you will be coming. See you at Whitlow smoke school. Step up to the plate and let me grab your hand. Many of you veteran smoke readers know smoke school can be very stressful. Inexperienced smoke school providers can make the EPA Method 9 opacity reading visible emissions evaluator test very hard to pass. If you miss one single reading by 4 spaces, then you have to retake the test. People get stressed out, get mad, and clipboards fly. Whitlow Smoke School's goal is to give good instructions, take our time, and make the test simple as possible. We strive for stress reduction to make the testing experience fun and relaxing. We provide stress free smoke school certification.
Come see at Whitlow Smoke School Nation and you will win prizes. You just might win a Two Dollar Bill.
A great big HEY! From the Whitlow Family to you.
A great big HEY! From the Whitlow Family to you.
This is Uncle George and I am the Smoke Commander. Greetings and salutations and the whole 9 yards. The good Lord has really blessed Pamela, our daughters Holly, Ashley, Mandy, our grandson Bryce, me and the rest of the Whitlow Family, friends, and Whitlow employee team who work hard to serve you for Whitlow Enterprises and Whitlow Smoke School Nation. We want you to come see and pass a good time and feel at home, weather we are on the road again or here in the front yard at our home in the woods in Dixie, just 12 miles south of West Monroe, Louisiana. We are located just 7 woods miles from Phil Robertson's double wide. As you all know Phil is the Buck Commander that you all know from the Duck Dynasty. The Lord has blessed us to no end and I am proud to say the fortune and fame hasn't changed either one of us, not even one iota. The Whitlow family is well known for faith, family, and just blowing smoke.George Artie Whitlow
It ain't over until the fat cat sings. We are Whitlow Smoke School Nation. Be well, do good work, and keep in touch. Amen.
HEY!! Alabama named a street after me.
The basic fundamentals of our success- vision, discipline, judgment, commitment, dependability, and accuracy. We strive to be the best that we can be. Whitlow Smoke School is co owned and operated by me and my lovely bride Pamela and our 3 beautiful daughters Holly, Ashley, and Mandy. Whitlow is based on love, faith, hope, family, and crabs. Hello my name is George Artie Whitlow, AKA Cotton Valley, Smoke Commander, Uncle Earl- and the buck stops here. Pam is the boss and without her and Jesus we would not be here at all. Our dedicated loyal staff of team players are here for one reason and one reason only. We are here to serve you in the best way possible. We built it and you are coming. We are growing by leaps and bounds because we do it right the first time and take the stress out of smoke school. You would rather be with us then the dentist- I gar-on-tee you will give us the thumbs up on this one. We want to teach you what you need to know about opacity reading and how to pass the certification test the first time so you can go fishing. We bring you plenty of hot coffee, ice cold water, and soft drinks to keep you refreshed. We even cook you a mouthwatering Cajun lunch gumbo or jambalaya, maybe some crawfish pie. We want you to feel like your are at home and have some fun. We know that your job is stressful and very dangerous, because we have worked in plants too. My hat goes off to you men and women who keep America working.
Here are the normal things we do that make our competitors try to imitate us:
We do our homework before each smoke school with maintenance and calibration before each test
We set the stage for optimal conditions for reading opacity even on cloudy days- contrasting background and shelter from rain and sun
We start your day off with precise instructions on how to read opacity, fill out the forms, and take the visible emissions certification test. Remember this- read the background not the smoke. 25% opacity means 25% of the background is obscured by the smoke. Always read the opacity at the densest part of the plume. In our case, choose an observation point that is 12 inches in diameter the same diameter as our smokestack.
Whitlow gives you plenty practice test opacity plumes to evaluate and we watch you to make sure you are following the correct basic fundamentals of reading opacity.
We present the smoke school visible emissions evaluator certification test following EPA requirements of of random opacity plumes from zero to 100%
We focus on low level opacity readings from zero to 50%, Most permits call for an average of 20% opacity over a 6 minute period. Some permits limit opacity to zero or 5%. Ray Charles can see 20% opacity. The certification test should not be based on a quota system designed to 50% of you will fail each test. We refuse to jump around like King Kong from 5% to 90% like a datburn yo yo. Absolutely no point in this at all.
After the test you allow you to grade your own test papers. Our staff team grades the papers as well on site. You will know that you passed before you leave. We call out the answers nice and slow.
Each smoke school consists of a morning and afternoon session to allow you to send plenty of employees. Please let us know when you resister if you prefer morning or afternoon.
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And the Good Lord says Thumbs Up Whitlow
Hey meet my lovely Bride Pam. Like my Uncle Si, I am Uncle George, the Smoke Commander, and 5% of every single one of my stories is absolutely true- sometimes 7%. Nobody handed me this Whitlow Smoke School on a silver platter. I ain't never asked nobody for nuttin Jack. I done it all on my own. I just might have a college degree in environmental and social work but that don't mean I am not a southern gentleman with plain common horse sense. I have made a living driving nails and driving trucks. I have worked in a plant or three. I am not a man afraid of hard work. There might be a little snow on my chimney but that don't mean there ain't no fire in the fireplace.
While we are on the subject of hard work
I just wanted to tell you that, "I am a man who likes hard work"
I was born working and I worked my way up by hard work
I aint ever got no where, but I got there by hard work
Work of the hardest kind I been down and I been out
I been disgusted I been busted and I couldnt be trusted
I worked my way up and I worked my way down
I been drunk and I been sober, I been baptized and hijacked
Worked my way in jail and I worked my way outta jail
Woke up a lot of mornins, didnt know where I was at
The hardest work I ever done was, when I was tryin
To get myself a worried woman to help ease my worried mind
Im gonna tell ya just how much work I had to do
To get this woman I was tellin you about, I shook hands
With ninety seven of her kinfolk and Her blood relatives
And I done just the same with eighty six people
Who's just her friends and her neighbors
I kissed seventy three babies and put dry pants
On thirty four of em, well as others done this same thing
Well there are a lot of other things just like this
I held one hundred twenty five wild horses
And put saddles and bridles on more than that
Harnessed some of the wildest and craziest teams
In that whole country I rode fourteen loco broncos to a stand still
And I let forty two hound dogs lick me all over seven times
Is bit by hungry dogs and I was chewed all to pieces
By rattlesnakes and water moccasins on two river bottoms
I chopped and carried three hundred fourteen arm loads
Of stove wood, one hundred nine buckets of coal
Carried a gallon of kerosene eighteen miles over the mountains
Got lost, lost a good pair of shoes in a mud hole
And I chopped and weeded forty eight rows of short cotton
Thirteen acres of bad corn, I cut the sticker weeds
Out of eleven back yards, all on account of 'cuz
I wanted to show her that I was a man and I liked to work
I cleaned out nine barn lofts, cranked thirty one cars
All makes and models, pulled three cars out of mud holes
And four or five out of snow drifts
I dug five cisterns of water for some of her friends
Run all kinds of errands, played the fiddle for nine
Church meetins I Joined eleven separate denominations
I joined up and signed up with seven best trade unions
I could find, I paid my wages, a, dues six months in advance
I waded forty eight miles of swamps and six big rivers
Walked across two ranges of mountains and crossed
Three deserts, I got the fever, sun stroke, Malaria, blue
Moonstruck, skeeter bit, poison Ivy and the seven year itch
And the blind staggers, I was give up for less, lost and dead
A couple of times struck by lightning, struck by Congress
Struck by friends and kinfolks Well as by three cars on highways
A lot of times in peoples hen houses, I been hit and run down
Run over and walked on knocked around, Im just sittin here
Now tryin to study up what else I can do to show that women
That I still aint afraid of hard work
Now normally I'm a hard working honest man, but now I done stold this here song. Sorry bout that Arlo Guthrie, but I stold your daddy Woody Guthrie's song, Talking Hard Work.
Whitlow Photo Album
It ain't over until the fat cat sings