I Found a Cockroach Dead Side up in My Sunny Side Up Fired Eggs May 7, 2011

Yet another story from the mind of Uncle George who is still searching for all the correct answers to life's persisted questions.

Back in July 1998 I traveled back to my home town of Monroe, Louisiana to install a small window air conditioner at the Louisiana DEQ Air Analysis ozone monitoring station at Selman Field Airport. The US EPA required us to maintain sampling monitors at 72 degrees + or – 3, which means that we depended on Accustat Thermostats. I had been employed by the department since 1984 and I conducted smoke school, preformed inspections, operated air sampling network. I was based in the Baton Rouge Capitol Regional Office, but I traveled frequently all over the state troubleshooting and solving problems for our engineers and operators at about 100 air sampling locations in portable buildings or on wooden platforms. There never was a dull moment and I loved my job. Randy Morgan operated the sampling site at the airport and he met me there to provide assistance, provided his supervisor Paul Laird would let him get away. (Paul and I grew up in the same area around Caldwell Parish. We have been friends for more than 30 years. Now Paul has also retired form DEQ and works with me.)  Randy had recently transferred from the Public Health Department, as Paul and so many other DEQ employees had done.

That night my insomnia kicked in at the Holiday Inn Conference Center Where I first met the Cajun Chef and comedian Justin Wilson-"How yawl Are", so I decided to go for an early morning breakfast around 4 AM at Shoney’s on Louisville Ave. I ordered my favorite breakfast of 2 eggs sunny side up with beacon, cheese grits and biscuits. I was pouring ketchup on the eggs and then was shocked to see to see a dead cockroach bass ackards in the middle of my eggs right up there on top next to the yellow yoke. I believe that ketchup is the mellowing agent, but it couldn't mellow me out after that event. The colors were shocking- red yellow, white and nasty brown. Good thing it was not half a cockroach. Only in Louisiana we don’t call them cockroaches because of the sexually connotations and the power of positive thinking psycology, we call them water bugs. Most of them are hard to miss because they are 2 inches long and fat and wide. They are almost as pesky as the mosquito, the Louisiana state bird. I called the waitress over to have a look at the water bug. She said, "Don't tell anyone, because everyone will be asking for it". She seemed embarrassed and asked if she could get me some more eggs. I said that I was no longer in the mood for fired eggs or cheese grits and wanted an order of pancakes and sausage. When I received the order, it was shocked to find another big fat dead water bug upside down between the second and third pancake. I got disgusted and just walked out without paying.



The next morning I asked Randy if he had found any roaches during any of his health department inspections at Shoney’s. He explained that they had a long time problem with cockroaches in the overhead grease trap above the stove. If they tried to kill the water bugs, they had excess pesticide contaminants in the food. I would dare say that every restaurant in America has the same dilemma of insect’s verses pesticides. Therefore let me give you a warning; don’t look at your food. Just forget about it, because the added insects will cost you no extra and they add additional nutrients and fiber. The US Dept. of Agriculture has raised allowable insect level content in food.

What happened to America? Wake up! Were we sleeping when momma and daddy tried to teach us how to cook? My 9th wife sweet Angie cooks everyday and she fixes some mean meals like beef stroganoff, sting beans, sweet corn, jambalaya crawfish pie, and filet gumbo. Back in my days of traveling for maintenance, I was good at driving with a McDonald’s sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit or a Big Mack in one hand and the steering wheel in the other. Now you understand why I am so slim and shapely. Recently I have added the cell phone in my ear and one eye on the bitchy GPS to make the simple life-“Recalculating—you have arrived at your destination.” But this is a slum area and I don’t see an Applebee’s anywhere. Besides they don't serve apples at Applebee's.

Related story what actions can you take when you find a roach in your food.

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It ain't over until the fat cat sings